PLANTING THE MAGIC BEANS

George McGurn

December 22, 1999

Last week my son, Ross, and his wife, Kristin, stopped by to pick up my wife, Gina, for a shopping trip in New Hampshire. While they were at our house two of my grandchildren, Matt who is 4, and Danny who is 2, began to tell me about the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. They asked me if I had the book. And when I said that I did they wanted me to read it to them. Right now! I had told the boys about the special chair where I read books to their father when he was a boy. Now the boys have designated this chair as the official "reading chair." The other chair in the living room now called the "watching chair" where you can watch television. The couch is now called the "resting chair." The boys insist that all reading be done in the "reading chair."

I was so disappointed with my copy of Jack and the Beanstalk. The pictures were poorly done. And the words in the story were awkward and even scary. When I read them a book I always take the liberty of skipping some words or editing the story as I go along. All my editing couldn't save this book. I apologized to the boys and told them that we had to find a better copy of Jack and the Beanstalk.

As the van pulled out to head to New Hampshire for their shopping trip, I pulled out to head for the golf course. When I returned home after my golf I was surprised when I saw the van still parked in our driveway. I spent a lot of time at the golf course that day so I thought that Ross and his family would have dropped off my wife and headed home right after their shopping.

As I came into the house I was prepared for the usual game from the boys. They usually do a "hide and seek" routine. They hide and the adults tell me that the boys are not here. Then I have to search and find them. This time there was no "hide and seek." They came running to greet me with their new prize. Gina had found a new copy of Jack and the Beanstalk. And the boys were waiting for me to read it with them. Right now!

Ross said that he wanted to head home after the shopping trip but the boys insisted that they wait until I came home so we could read Jack and the Beanstalk in the official reading chair.

The three of us squeezed into the reading chair and checked out the new book. Now, this was more like it. Gina had found a beauty. The pictures were great. And the words were so much better. Well, we read the story of Jack and the Beanstalk about four times. And the big hit in the story was the famous line: FE FI FO FUM -I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISHMUN. The boys did that line as a chorus with volume and drama.

As we finished the fourth reading of the story Matt had a lot of questions about the power of those magic beans. When the reading was finally over both boys had an apple for snack. And when the snack was over Matt looked at the seeds in his apple and had a great idea. He said that the apple seeds might be just like the magic beans. He said that we should take the apple seeds and bury them. And then they might grow into a magic beanstalk just like in the story.

I could see that Matt was ready for an adventure. And then Danny also wanted to get in on the fun. So both boys were looking at me for some direction.

Well, this looked like a frolic to me. I love it when the boys get into some creativity and imagination. So I told them we had to do it. Unfortunately, it was pitch dark outside. But that was no major obstacle. The deed had to be done.

The three of us bundled up and headed outside with the magic beans. We decided that the spot where the beans had the best chance to grow would be right in the middle of my empty garden plot. We got a shovel from the garage and took turns digging a hole. The boys were really high. I could just feel their energy level rise as we dug that special hole.

When the hole was about two feet deep Matt and Danny each placed their magic beans in the bottom of the hole. Then they took turns shoveling the dirt back. And then they took turns stamping down the loose dirt with their feet.

To make the spot official I took a 3 foot stake and we hammered the stake into the magic spot. And to end the ceremony we spoke a few special words over the dirt. And you know what these words had to be. FE FI FO FUM I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISHMUN.

Well, here we were. Three crazy guys out in my back yard. In the black of night. In the cold of winter. Yelling out: FE FI FO FUM over and over. What will the neighbors think?

The adults in the house thought we were being very silly. But they missed out on a great adventure. And we had a great time with a couple of dumb apple seeds and a lot of imagination and creativity.