January 17, 2001

This is a silly story about my 3 year-old grandson writing me a letter.

Hi Grampa,

I just want you to know that things have not been going very well for me since our new baby came into the family. When I first heard we were going to have another baby in the family I was really excited. I thought it would be great to have two babies in the family. Was I ever wrong. I found out the hard way that you can only have one baby in the family. And guess who is out?

My 5 year-older brother, Matt, didn’t seem to be bothered by our new baby. He was the oldest kid before the baby and he still is the oldest kid now. I was the baby before the new baby came and now I am not the baby. The big question is, "Who am I now?"

You know, Grampa, I was just getting good at being a baby when they pulled the plug on me. I had the snuggle and the cute smile. Everyone said I was adorable. I thought I had some great moves. But I guess it wasn’t good enough. You know, they only gave me 15 measly months to be the baby. That’s not enough time. If my parents had given me a couple of more years I could have been the perfect baby.

But no. My parents told me they had other plans. They said it was time for a change in the family. And my time as the baby was up.

Grampa, I read the letter that my baby sister, Sarah, sent you last month. I couldn’t believe the ending of the letter. Sarah said that she knew she was a big hit with the neighbors. She loved it when those mothers bent down and told everybody how cute she was. And then she said: Let’s see. Bath time. A clean diaper. Clean jammies, My night-nite. My bottle. More hugs. And then off to bed. And then she said she felt just adorable.

Grampa. That was me before Sarah came. The same words. The same feelings. I was on top of the world. I was the big cheese in the house. Where did it all go?

I guess I’ll just have to make some changes and look for another role in this family. And it’s not going to be easy giving up the star role in the family.

I really liked it last week when you and I went into the kitchen to play that board game by ourselves. I don’t know if you noticed but I was kind of trying out some new roles there. I sat in your lap and gave you some good snuggles like a baby. But I wouldn’t let you read the rules of the game. Then I could tell you what to do just like an older child.

I seem be able to find role models for being a baby. And I seem to be able to find role models for being the oldest. But there doesn’t seem to be much information out there for being a middle child.

Grampa, remember when you asked me if I would like to be a 1 year- old child instead of being 3. I told you I would like to be zero. And I would like the baby to be one thousand. And then I could go back and play a role I was used to. But I know that’s not going to happen.

I am really sad about this new change in the family. But I guess I am even more scared than sad. I don’t know what is going to happen to me. I don’t know what my role is going to be. And that’ s really scary. I’m a pretty confused 3 year-old ex-baby right now.

Now it seems that all those minor issues in my life that I used to handle with ease have become major problems for me. And I am so sensitive to everything. And it only makes it worse seeing Sarah so happy being a baby and Matt so happy being the oldest kid in the family.

And that preschool thing didn’t help at all. Just when I was feeling really insecure about being replaced by a new baby I get shipped out to preschool 5 mornings a week. And guess who is home in the morning with my mother getting all that attention I used to get?

That’s why I keep getting upset. And that’s why I am doing all this whining and crying and even some baby talk. I want people to know I am going through a tough time in my life and I need some help.

But, Grampa I guess there are some good points being a 3 year-old middle kid. I really had fun when we went sledding at the golf course last week. Matt and I had a blast. And Sara couldn’t come. Because Sarah is just a baby.

And I know my parents are going out of their way to give me extra time and extra attention. They are also trying to be extra patient and extra understanding with me lately. They know I am going through some tough times. And they are doing their best to get me through. And that really helps.

Well, I feel a little better getting all that stuff off my chest. And now I think I will just have to give it my best shot to find my new place in our family—whatever that may be.