DISNEY WORLD IN THE CELLAR

George McGurn

March 15, 2000

Ross and Kristin and the kids are here. Gina has cooked a nice meal. The adults are really enjoying the food. But four-year-old Matt and his two-year-old brother, Danny, are restless. They have had enough of eating and want to move on. And they are looking at my plate and asking me if I am finished eating. They know that play time is overdue.

I tell the boys I will be with them in a minute. I make a quick job of the food on my plate. And now it's time to move on. The boys want to go directly to the cellar. And they are ready for some fun. And this fun isn't going to cost much money.

Well, in the McGurn family I am know as the cheapest of all the McGurns. I never had much money growing up so I never spent much money growing up. And now that I have grandchildren I still don't spend much money on them. I avoid buying my grandchildren a lot of clothes and toys. I definitely avoid giving them money. But I do make it a point to give them plenty of books. And I do try to utilize practical and inexpensive ways to please them.

So it's off to our Disney World in the cellar with Matt and Danny. When we go to the cellar we have a set routine. I tell them I am looking for two volunteers to go on a dangerous mission. And that the volunteers have to be brave and courageous. And then I ask for a show of hands. They raise their hands. And then they give me a salute. And then we march off to the cellar.

Right off the bottom of the cellar stairs I have an old dartboard on the wall. The boys know this is too dangerous for them. But they always insist that I take one dart and let them feel how sharp it is. And then I throw one dart at the bulls eye.

The next activity is ping-pong. We don't set up the nets or the ping pong table. But each boy has his own paddle and his own ping pong ball with his initial on it. And they just hit the ping pong balls around the cellar. My cellar is pretty cluttered so the balls don't have far to travel before they begin to bounce around the furniture. And that's the fun. They love racing after the ball as it bounces around the cellar and usually ends up under something.

That's when they call for the "magic stick." They take a special wooden stick and then they lie down on their stomach and thrash around with the stick until the ball shoots out of its hiding place.

The next stop is for the golf balls. I have golf balls stored in boxes of 300. The boys get onto the middle of my pool table. And then I throw 300 balls at them. The balls go crashing around. And the boys go wild. Then they begin the sorting process. For some reason they love to find the golf balls that have the picture of the "Jimmy Fund" poster boy. They call them "Jimmy balls." They put all the Jimmy balls in a very special place. Then they put the colored golf balls together. Then they find the Nike balls they call Tiger Woods balls together. And then they keep looking for any type of ball that could be special or interesting.

When the boys are bored with the golf balls they move on to my workbench. Recently they have taken an interest in the tools so we try out a few. Last week they tried out the hammers and nails. They each have a small hammer and some small nails. We have a thin piece of soft wood for them to hammer the nails into. When the nail comes thru the wood they know how to turn the wood over and hammer the nail back out. And they love it when they turn the hammer around and use the claw part of the hammer to pull the nail out of the wood. The boys can't seem to get enough of the hammer and nail activity.

Well, we have been in the cellar for an hour and we are having a great time. But Ross calls down to say that it's almost bath time. And now it's time to put everything back where it came from. And they are really good at putting stuff back. Although, last year I had an incident with Matt when he didn't want to bring his sneakers into the house. He said he wanted to leave them in the driveway.

I did finally convince Matt to bring in his sneakers. And then I remember making up a story about a sneaky dog who was always on the lookout for anything that was not put back where it belonged. I told the boys that the dog didn't like to use the toilet so he was always looking for a place to pee and poop. And he really liked to pee and poop on anything that was left out.

I told them about a boy who left his sneakers on his lawn overnight. And during the dark night the dog spotted the sneakers left out on the lawn. The dog went over to the sneakers and peed in one sneaker. Then the dog went over and pooped in the other sneaker.

The next morning the boy went out to find his sneakers. He put one foot into his left sneaker and found it was filled with pee. And he said UGHH! Then he put his foot into his right sneaker and found it was filled with poop. And he said double UGHHHHHH! And after that the boy always picked his stuff up and made sure it was put back where it belonged. Because he didn't want that sneaky dog to pee or poop on his favorite things.

Well, last year that story struck a chord with the boys. Because they asked me to repeat that story about ten times. After a while the boys knew the story by heart so we did it as a team. Matt and I would take turns as we told the story. And because Danny was only one he didn't have many words to add. But he waited for the UGH sound and he would give us a huge UGH sound just at the right time.

Now when we take something out the boys always tell me that we have to put it back. Because they know that dog is watching and they don't want pee or poop on their stuff.

These kids don't seem to mind that I don't give them a lot of material goods or money. Kids really seem to appreciate it when someone gives them time, patience and caring. You don't have to take kids to Disney World to make them happy. Sometimes you can find Disney World right in your own cellar.